Oh, the conundrum! Your tween daughter comes home and informs you that “all of her friends” are wearing makeup, and she wants to do it, too. You, of course, do what every parent does: ask her if her friends jumped off a bridge would she do it, too? Eye rolling commences–but how do you actually respond appropriately to her question?
This is a huge debate around parents. The truth is, your daughter is probably telling the truth if she is in the 10-14 age range and comes home with tales of friends wearing full-on beauty queen makeup. Some parents are going to allow that, and maybe you’re okay with it, too. And that’s fine. However, if you’re looking for guidance on what most parents allow, then keep reading.
Makeup Is Exciting
The first time young ladies get to wear makeup in public can be an exciting time for them. They may feel like they’re really growing up, and will certainly feel beautiful and special. Even if their makeup is so light that it’s practically invisible, they can see it and they can feel it–and that’s all that matters! Teach them how to wear makeup without looking like a clown. Maybe you can start with just a little powder, lip gloss and mascara, and if that goes well give them the chance to earn eyeliner and some light eye shadow after some time. Simply forbidding tweens and young teens to wear makeup can backfire on you, as they will almost certainly put it on as soon as they get out of your sight! By allowing them some responsibility around the topic, you are showing that you trust them to make good decisions and that they don’t have to go behind your back.
Introduce a Solid Skincare Regimen
Some moms recommend that children learn about skincare before they start adding to their daily routine. Great idea! Start them out with a facial cleanser and moisturizer routine and require them to follow the plan for six weeks before they “graduate” to wearing light-colored lip gloss or some mascara. This way, they’re showing that they are responsible enough to take care of their skin and follow directions before they are rewarded with what they want.
Try a Makeover
If you have a friend who is a consultant for Mary Kay, Avon or another skin care and makeup line, see if she will work with your daughter to create a basic and neutral look that she can stick with. This can work especially well if there are challenges in communication between you and your tween–she is more likely to listen to someone other than Mom and take the good advice that you and your consultant-friend have agreed upon beforehand. Just be sure you let the consultant know up front what is acceptable and what is not!
No matter when you decide to let your daughter try makeup, be sure she understands that she is beautiful just the way she is, with nothing but her clean face and hair. Having that confidence will give her a boost!